Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Singing record covers

Isn't it funny how records have stuck with us, whilst tapes, CDs and mini disk players have all bitten the dust. At the moment it seems that album download services are going that way too. It's of course partly nostalgia that keeps the record popular of course. But that doesn't explain why there are so many young buyers of records. For these people it's more the album artwork and the physicality of the things that make people feel like they are really coming home with something special. Here's a little music video which cleverly plays on album art, personifying it and making it seem like something that really should be treasured. It's for Roy Kafri's Mayokero.

Roy Kafri - Mayokero (Music Video) from Vania Heymann on Vimeo.

Thanks to my colleague David for this one. 

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

It's so un-chic to pronounce fashion names wrong darling.

This week Cheryl Fernandez Versini, of Girls Aloud fame, got very upset when one of the producers on The X Factor UK called her Cheryl Cole, her name from her previous marriage to cheating football whore Ashley Cole. When the hapless man protested that her new name was hard to pronounce she moaned, "It's not hard to pronounce my name phonetically". True Cheryl. It's actually quite an easy one if you take a moment to read it properly.

However what can I say? I have been known to pronounce "chic" as "chick", much to the horror of my friends. My father calls "pitta" bread "peter bread" and one of my colleagues called "Notorious B.I.G" the "Notorious Big" over lunch today.

The world of fashion is particularly littered with difficult to pronounce names. Why there's even debate over how to pronounce every day brands like Nike. That's why i-D's fashion pronunciation guide is actually not just a cute video but something we could all learn from.

Watch it now, never make another fashion mis-pronunciation faux pas again.

Friday, 17 October 2014

NEWS FLASH! The news got funny.

Very quick blog post to congratulate my friend Mark Daniels who has contributed to the first episode of this funny multi-comedian written news spoof.

Check out this week's headlights with the funniest things I've heard about ebola be fair everything else on ebola has been frankly terrifying.

Congrats Mark. You're a funny guy.

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Dance magic lights dance

Love this beautiful slightly haunting short film made by Cirque du Soleil, ETH Zurich and Verity Studios. The film was made by hiding drones indie lampshades so no CGI was employed. Those lampshades are actually dancing!

I love how cutting edge technology contrasts with old fashioned music, craft and something as everyday and normal as a lamp shade.

Thanks to my friend Paula for this one.

SPARKED: Behind the Technology:

Cirque du Soleil:
ETH Zurich:
Verity Studios:

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Devilish fun and ghostly goings on.

Can you feel the chill in the air? It's not winter coming. No. Those of us who are attuned to the spirit world know that it's actually the stirring of the dead. Or as the Americans would say, HALLOWEEN BABY! The chance for us all to get dressed up like complete sluts. YAY!

This year my outfit is going to have to be additionally slutty as I'm going to the famous Torture Garden  (exciting!). The night includes a Voodoo ballroom, a Horror Hospital Slaughterhous, a dungeon with "coffin installation performances", a Japanese Horror Bondage Room, a Haunted Forest Installation and a Satanic Bunker. I think I might freak out actually.

The dress code is pretty strict stipulating no cheap PVC or halloween outfits. Thing is, I'm on a budget. So I am taking out my trusty red boned corset (such a surprisingly useful purchase - thanks crazy ex boyfriend) and teaming it with sequin pants and killer black heels.

This is me in the corset from another year's Halloween (although that year I played it a little safer):

I'll also add a black jewelled necklace and red eye makeup. But I'm a little lost as to what to do with my hair. Being a blonde seems like a real disadvantage at Halloween. We blondes always end up looking cute no matter how hard we try to look goth. This was a real handicap in my goth clubbing days. The dog collar, black platform boots and big jeans were totally cancelled out by the cheerful golden tones on my head. Fail. So in the end maybe I'll just embrace the blonde, curl it and coat it in hair glitter. If I can the patience I'll also do my nails like this:

Even in a corset and hot pants I'll still be playing it safe compared to many at Torture Garden who seem to just bare it all. If you're over 18 (see how responsible I am) check out the costumes from last year's Halloween:

So, as I like 'how to' videos - here's the video that shows how I'll be achieving eyes like this... and possibly horns although I can imagine that gets itchy.

I am a little sad I won't be wearing last year's Halloween outfit again. I was a wolf and the makeup was really fun. Here's a flash back for y'all (sorry been watching too much True Blood).

Friday, 26 September 2014

I had a crush on you in Secondary School (the sequel to I had a crush on you in Primary School).

The time has come to fess up to my secondary school crushes (that's high school for you Americans). For some reason even though I am 31 this seems a little more embarrassing - partly because I still occasionally speak to these people. But the point is we've all moved on and it will be a laugh to write about what once was so important to my teenage heart. It's been 13 years since I saw most of them, after all. So...

Luke Hanson (aka Luke Handsome)
Everyone fancied Luke in lower school. He was just so cool. Once, when I had my hair cut into a bob he stopped to tell me that I looked nice. I think even the soles of my feet blushed. Of course Luke is still lovely and my Facebook friend. Hi Luke - yes I kinda loved you.

Simon Lawton (aka my best friend Jen's bf)
This crush lasted quite a few years. It even survived the time when Simon was forced to sit by me in Maths and let out a large fart. I was much too shy to talk to Simon and in the whole time I was at school I don't think I managed one sentence. In about year 3 a girl called Beth decided to stand up in Health ed and announce to the whole class, "Aimee fancies Simon". Beth (if you're reading this) I still think you're a bitch. Yes this particular love story was not a happy one as Simon even went out with my best friend Jen. Pure torture.

Simon Lucus (aka Slime 'n' Mucus)
Simon was one of the only male friends I had in Secondary School. He wasn't cool, but neither was I. We were drama club kids and hung out as prefects. Simon had a very annoying habit of sitting on the floor moaning about how he couldn't get a girlfriend and that none fancied him. I lent on the wall opposite thinking about how I fancied him and how irritating he was at the same time. Us girls who fancied Simon (there were a couple) consoled ourselves with discussions about how he was probably gay. We were wrong it turned out. Simon's also my FB friend. Hi Simon :)

Dan don't know his surname (aka hot Dan)
I kissed Dan, a very hot guy in the year above, in Time and Envy nightclub on the dance floor. Telling my fried Mary the next day she exclaimed: "YOU? Kissed Dan? But he's so hot!?". A little insulting. Then I kissed him again the next weekend. At that point my "friend" Jen asked the DJ to congratulate Aimee and Dan on "their new arrival". You can always rely on friends to embarrass you. On the Monday in school I was informed that Dan already had a girlfriend in our year and she'd probably beat me up. She was little but she looked scrappy so I spent the next month hiding from her.

John Parfitt (aka John Perfect)
Ahhh my 6th form crush. I used to play The Sims on the computer and make John's character fall in love with my character. I even fancied John when he went through the dodgy blonde tipped hair do. Finally it came to the leaving do in Bentley's nightclub. Thinking that I was finally released from having to face school the next day (or ever again) I had a spurt of courage. I stormed up to John grabbed him and shouted over the music: "So are you gonna ask me to dance or what?". My charm worked. Either that or the black satin top with chains I lent from my sister for pulling purposes.

John if you're reading this - your kids are very cute.

And that was it. School had ended. I had a couple of boyfriends mixed in. I'm not counting them as crushes - they'd be a whole other blog post. Reading my old diaries I think I was open to crushes on a lot of people. Not my fault - blame it on the crazy teenage hormones. But these were the ones I really remember.

If you have a funny school crush story do share. I'd love to hear it.